I've bought a few new pairs of slacks 
With allowance to expand and shrink                                     
And I have them where I can see them
For when my momentum and focus sink

Right now my side profile troubles me
As it differs from the image I have in mind                 
But I am not about to throw in the towel
And regress to the old destructive grind

Fresh habits wreak howling havoc
 In the corriders where my thoughts roam                                                                                   
Groundbreaking neuro paths are laboriously laid
As I pursue the new 'normal' I'll call home

That side silhouette is so distracting
Though it beats the scale's impact by a mile                                  
For visuals provide me accuracy                             
While numbers and results don't always reconcile       

The caboose knows that sitting is counter productive
While the pouch does not just have the chair as its foe
The food, the sleep, the thoughts and the nutrition:
Results of imbalance in these, in the pouch I stow

Tracking, meal prep, FitEra guidelines
Any and all of these attended to provide aid
But if none of them are referred to regularly                                                        
Much silhouette progress  will not be made

It is so dadgummed easy to have disordered thoughts
It is too darn simple to let distractions rule
Accountability is not a trait modern times encourage                                         
Not even found in curriculums in school        

8 ways to conquer distraction: https://blog.4tests.com/8-ways-conquer-distraction/                                                                   

I have a degree that cost me dearly
In time, mental anguish and monetary cost                                                
And yet now I am having to undo much damage                              
From old fashioned values that were lost

Whining, victimhood, regret of past choices 

All of these I learned and carried through the years    
And my body was fed this toxic series                       
Consumed by blame, procrastination and fears


I am reversing decades of backwards learning  
Coming here to earn a degree I'll treasure most
Among fellow classmates focused on realizing full potential  
And abandoning self as whipping post      

So ever so gradually I'm accepting reality
That place between fantasy and frustration
By accepting what I CAN do now I can ACT              
Instead of getting stuck by unreasonable expectation

In a world that doesn't value empathy much
We are not much impacted by others' problems and lives
But here where thoughts are shared so honestly                              
Outwardly focused support lavishly thrives

The caboose and pouch still distort my slack silhouette
But there is a streamlining being undergone in my mind 
As I stay here blogging and using the tools to re-navigate
My body and my thoughts are certainly becoming aligned