It's been a pretty good day today. I worked on the challenge, including realizing that I don't have to get everything completed in one day, or even one week. I've

grown accustomed to working under pressure, however pressure sits right alongside stress much of the time, so I needed to examine why this happens for me

and what I need to do to change it .... and I realized, in some cases (like with work or favors needed by someone) I really suck at saying no.                             

All too often I have found myself in the studio working until 3 AM, despite the fact I had just spent the entire day working on the same project .... and more times

than not, I end up dealing with a cold or being so worn out that I am not functioning well at anything.

And WHY would I do that ?  Meditated and the answers are clear. I don't like disappointing others and it means a lot to me that friends/family and/or clients want

me to help them or create something for them, or whatever the case may be. I don't dredge up the past, however, I will utilize a trigger to help me pinpoint why

I have had a reaction so I can make adjustments and break the cycle.                               

Creating boundaries and setting limits is ok and it is necessary too. I am more than capable of making good choices. I am responsible to me and as such, I need to

make sure that I am treating myself as well as I treat others, with kindness and love and compassion. If there are others who choose to be angry because I cannot

meet their expectations, then that's ok. I am not responsible for someone else's expectations. Bottom line, I don't like to be around negative people and I don't have

to be. Recently I had a call from an individual that I have worked with off and on for over eleven years. Said individual can be demanding (ok, understatement) and

insisted I stop whatever I was doing and create something right then and there for their project. At the time, my computer was in the shop for repairs and said individual 

continued to issue orders that I go somewhere and use another computer, ignoring the fact I would not be able to access the needed files remotely. That was labeled as

an excuse. Yes, that was a big trigger. I was polite and polited stated I was hanging up, and I did. 

When I look at this today, I would do the same thing. It's not worth getting stressed over, worrying that I will be judged because I didn't do the job or anything else. My time

is valuable and I do tend to be a perfectionist with my work, so when I make better choices, I will still come out on top, because I am taking care of me.

 

Meals today:

Breakfast salad - mixed baby greens, avocado, sliced almond, olive, pomegrante, lemon juice and black beans

Apple and pecans

Orgain vanilla protein, water, frozen kale, 3 inch piece of frozen banana

Pan grilled pork chop/lean with grilled veggies 

Just put a jar of almonds in filtered water in the frig for munching the next few days .... I love them this way, the almonds swell, and when you bite them, there is a

satisfying snap without the hardness of the usual raw nut. 

Water intake is better, working to get it up even more.